Carolyn Fe Blues Collective
(c)2014 – All rights reserved
www.carolyn-fe.com
www.litratista.com
Carolyn Fe Blues Collective
(c)2014 – All rights reserved
www.carolyn-fe.com
www.litratista.com
JAMES STRECKER: Please tell us about one or more projects that you have been working on or have recently completed. Why exactly do they matter to you and why should they matter to us
CAROLYN FE: As a musician: I just released a single “Jerusalem’s Thorns Civilian Remix” available on carolynfe.bandcamp.com since May 22, 2020, which happens to be Asian Heritage Month in Canada. I am also collaborating with musicians from all over the world on new works with me laying down my voice on their tracks and/or my lyrics and melodies to their music.
As an actor: I am in the midst of writing a play about how someone saw their life as they reach their end game; gratefully, I am working from my home studio on voice acting gigs for commercials, audio books, PSAs and animation. With the theatres and venues closed due to the pandemic and social distancing restrictions I am preparing, with fellow actors, for a two of online readings of plays that will be recorded and presented as old-style radio to be broadcasted on the CBC and podcasted in the near future.
These artistic activities matter to me as they are my life-savers especially during this lockdown period. I sorely miss performing live but these activities keep me in line, focused on creating and see the possibilities that there are. It matters to me as it allows me to have an outlet to voice my views and frustrations by sharing my (fiction and non-fiction) stories through music, theatre and writing – no matter how deep or superficial they may be. I feel it should matter to others, especially during lockdown when corporate structures and everybody’s lives are in flux (due to quarantined, social distancing, isolating), this is a time that can be taken to reflect. How better to reflect on one’s situation than through art – even if it’s only for light entertainment to simply forget the realities of our current situation. People are faced with who they really are without their corporate identities, they are stripped down to what is real, what more to ease that pain with the help of music, the written word, movies, plays, visual arts?
JS: How did doing these projects change you as a person and as a creator?
CF: It took me a long time to come to myself as a creator. I am a late bloomer. “Pop-industry” is geared to promoting the 20 somethings, I missed that boat and instead, bloomed as a full-time creator in my mid-40s. I am loving the ground I stand on. I have come to myself without reporting to anyone or justifying my actions. I am free as a person to say and create whatever, however and with any artistic outlet I choose whereas in my younger years, I was told to choose one outlet. I didn’t want to conform. Today and at my age, there are no holds barred and, although I do appreciate and am grateful people’s feedback, I do not need their approval.
JS: What might others not understand or appreciate about the work you produce or do?
CF: I like to push the envelope. I like to challenge the status quo; I like to see how far I can go with my work. I like to break the parameters and step into the unknown and uncomfortable. After all, isn’t that where we learn and evolve as humans? Those who appreciate my work understand that at any time I can return to that comfort zone for them. They know that there is a journey to be had when they follow my work; in music I can do a standard Blues sound to keep things comfortable and then move on to pushing the sounds of what the Blues can be. In acting, I like to take on roles the defy “my category” as an actress playing the antagonist even though I can play a soft, loving, cookie-baking mother or grandmother anytime. What folks may not understand or appreciate is the “WHY” I do this. All I can say to them is, “Aren’t you the one who’s been looking for something different? Something that challenges you? Something that makes you catch your breath?”
JS: What are the most important parts of yourself that you put into your work?
CF: Myself. All of me. There is no faking, even in the lighter moments with my lifetime of experiences, it’s all me in all my shades.
JS: What are your biggest challenges as a creative person?
CF: To be seen as someone who has something to say. As a POC (person of color), an Asian and as a late-bloomer, the industry has to widen their horizons with their claim to inclusivity. They need to take a good look at who they have been excluding.
JS: Please describe at least one major turning point in your life that helped to make you who you are as a creative artist.
CF: It was in my high school years: my dramatic arts teacher gave me the Dramatic Arts Award. After ceremonies, we had a quick chat and she said that it was a difficult decision as it was between me and a classmate; and that although she believed in the two of us, she felt that I was going to “fight hard for it in the future”. To this day, her exact words are either a blessing or a curse depending on the situation but, regardless, I keep on fighting hard.
JS: What are the hardest things for an outsider to understand about your life as a person in the arts?
CF: Folks who have not checked their privilege. They do not seem to understand that I do not have the facility to go through the door as easily as someone who has the privilege. Don’t get me wrong, the industry where I am able to create IS a difficult industry go into, to be part of and to remain in it. It takes perseverance, will, smarts, champions who support are important to have as assets but what they do not realize is that I wade against the currents of performing and creating life because of my Asian (Filipino) heritage, now I have ageism added on to the load I carry.
JS: If you could re-live your life in the arts, how would you change it and why?
CF: If I could re-live my life would be louder in my younger years. I wouldn’t feel the urgency as I have so many things left to create but at my current age, I see and feel time is “not a forever” as it is for someone younger.
JS: Let’s talk about the state of the arts in today’s society, including the forms in which you work. What specifically gives you hope and what specifically do you find depressing?
CF: The industry has to widen their horizons with their claim to inclusivity. They need to take a good look at who they have been excluding.
JS: In your creative life thus far, what have been the most helpful comments you have heard about your work?
CF: The most helpful comments have been how my art has affected someone’s life. When I am performing with my band, I love seeing the audience close their eyes and lose themselves in my words and music. I have been told that my lyrics go for the jugular and their significance go deep; I rarely do cover songs for that matter. In theatre, I love how audience members appreciate my interpretation of someone else’s words on stage as an actor.
JS: Finally, what do you yourself find to be the most intriguing and/or surprising things about you?
CF: In the end, it is a job. I love my job and my job does not define me.